Grieving

"When Lightning Comes in a Jar" and Cindy

As a para-educator at Hillside Elementary School in our local Farmington, Michigan school district, my wife Cindy helped struggling first grade readers to read better. During the 2018 school year, she came across Patricia Polacco’s book, “When Lightning Comes in a Jar” about her family’s reunion held annually in Michigan. The book title regards catching lightning bugs in jars – an after-dark reunion activity.

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With our Trevisan family reunion set for the following July, Cindy was inspired to share the story that Christmas with our family’s current group of “littles,” as we call them. Excitedly, she ordered a book for each of the five families with up and coming readers, composing this note for each one.

Our family reunion is coming up this summer (2019). This story is about the family reunions of the author, Patricia Polacco. It talks about the importance of traditions that tell the story of your family. What makes this story even more fun, is it takes place in Michigan! Looking forward to our reunion in July and sharing stories with you from this family of ours. Let’s make our own jars of lightning this summer!

Merry Christmas
Love and Blessings, Aunt Cindy

Sadly, less than a month after Christmas, Cindy was diagnosed with Acute Myelocytic Leukemia (AML). As she launched into treatment in her typical, matter-of-fact manner, our daughter found a medical update website that we named “Cindy’s Village” to keep our vast network of family and friends informed about Cindy’s progress. Responding to one of my updates, Sarah commented:

“Our prayers for your complete and total healing are with you daily! … as we know it is difficult to stand by during such an ordeal … It’s settled. Trevisan Reunion 2019 is the perfect health goal! You must be there, vibrant and healthy to enjoy all the shenanigans!”

Cindy’s Village enthusiastically took that goal on. In the spirit of a verse in the Bible (Ephesians 3:202), I invited our readers to imagine* in our prayers God granting Cindy sufficient recovery to attend the July reunion, to hang out with her beloved nieces and nephews and enjoy “all the shenanigans” including catching lightning (bugs) in jars.

Initially, our desires seemed achievable as Cindy gave her all to the demanding treatment regimen, maintaining positivity while her doctors indicated favorable progress. Then, on day 75, an infection came on while her immune system was severely compromised that lead to Cindy’s death just 12 hours later, on April 8.

Suddenly our hope turned to grief even as we clung to the promise that our faith in Christ assures, faith that challenged us to believe that our prayers for Cindy were answered in a way that was beyond what we imagined* for her and ourselves – bypassing the Trevisan reunion to be reunited with her Lord, Jesus Christ. Even so, we are stunned and sad.

Nevertheless, in the spirit of this hope, rooted in a faith Cindy and I shared, I wanted to do something at reunion to honor her indomitable zest for life and Christ. Turns out, Cindy’s “lightning in a jar” initiative sparked my creativity (pun intended) thanks to a jar gifted to my sister Julie by her friend, Patty. After reading my February 13 post about a Cindy’s book project, she sent Julie a mason jar with a solar cell lid that powers a string of little lights. When lit, they look something like lightning bugs - lightning in a jar!

Reunion Lightning Jar, July 2019

Reunion Lightning Jar, July 2019

I ordered a bunch of them and found a perfect, mason-jar-shaped tag on Etsy that I had inscribed for the reunion. Our daughter, Laura wood-burned recipient names on the back of each tag. The lightning jar keepsakes were presented on the July 21 opening night of reunion along with other jars and butterfly nets for catching lightning bugs.

We anticipated several, exciting nights of lightning bug catch-and-release fun. However, the lightning bugs must have been on vacation as well because we never saw a single one all week. Turns out, the only lightning bug activity the whole week was our Cindy lightning jars bobbing around our reunion complex each night.

After reunion, my brother Neil texted me this note:

Since we have been home, the lightning bugs have put on a magnificent display every night…nature’s beauty, much like our faith and beliefs, isn’t a tangible, “catch-able” thing. More like a feeling or an experience in our heart…. a sense of wonder hard to articulate or capture, but powerful to create emotions and feelings. For the rest of my time on this earth, lightning bugs will always remind me of Cindy and will feel like a heavenly embrace.

Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” If not tangible, certainly real and perhaps more catchable than we generally think.

While we didn’t see any lightning bugs at reunion, the idea of them that our lightning jars brought to life was wondrous, as Neil expressed.

The story of Cindy is that she let her little light* shine brightly, something each of us can also do. How amazing to see how many were and continue to be touched by how she glowed.

2019 Trevisan Family Reunion that Cindy missed

2019 Trevisan Family Reunion that Cindy missed


* Footnotes:
1. This story draws from on two “Cindy’s Village” posts: Lightning in a Jar (2/13/2019) and Cindy’s Lightning, (8/4/2019); See Cindy’s Village at https://posthope.org/cindy (if site is still active)
2. (God) is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, (Ephesians 3:20, NIV)
3. “…A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see … and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 54:14-16, ESV) … we have this treasure in jars of clay (2 Corinthians 4:7a, ESV)